A Fantasy Tale

Thanks so much for graciously returning to the Reilly Sports Blog. We will get to the Smash before kickoff tomorrow. But there is just one story I wish to narrate. I was going to give this its own blog post in the middle of the week, but those silly guys in pinstripes got in the way. This will have to do.

The cautionary triumphant tale revolves around the ever-expanding world of fantasy football. I remember playing before I was even in high school, so it's something I've done for about ten years now. I have loosely mapped out my experience to a process that I believe everyone goes through...

• First two years: Hey, this is fun! Maybe my team can compete and win a few games!
• Year 3: Man, my team finishes better every year! This is easier than it seems.
• Year 4: Finish in last place.
  
• Years 5-7: Go back to basics and tread mediocrity, trying to find the secrets of fantasy success.
  
• Years 8-9: A great amount of pride hinges on the success of your team. You've played far too long now not to win consistently.
• Year 10: Something (surely demonic) possesses you to wager $250 on a fantasy football league.

And that's how it goes. Lost in all of this of course, is the age-old conflicts between your fantasy team and your real life team. If I don't draft players from the Jets, they can do great in real life, but it's bittersweet because they may burn you in fantasy. Draft your guys, and all the sudden you want some of your favorite players to do better than your other favorite players.

This is usually no problem. Real life will always trounce fantasy. A loss by Clean Sanchez can be laughed off if it means the New York Jets win. This is until you reach year 10 in the process described above.

Ya see, when you own Thomas Jones in year 10, you can't believe Mark Sanchez takes it on a bootleg from the 1 yard line. What a touchdown goblin! You find it absurd that they would ever put Shonn Greene into a game to hijack Jones' carries. You think it's bananas that they kick a field goal on 4th and goal from the 8. You say Jones can do it! He can do it!

That's the thing about year 10. And fantasy football in general. It is way, way too easy to blame everyone else in the weeks you lose. You want everything to revolve around your chosen players. Never mind there are millions and millions of other fantasy teams out there. If your guys don't get the ball at the right time, it's the most frustrating tragedy in the world.

Take last week for example. It's bad enough the Jets lost to the Dolphins. Again. But Steve Slaton gets me a total of (-1) points for the week. Now, back in August, I drafted Steve Slaton in the first round, #4 overall. Preferably, we're looking at 15-20 points per week at the value I drafted him. But he carries once, fumbles, gets benched, and is not heard of again the rest of the game.

Well, everyone else on my team and my opponent's team play, and it works out that at the end of Sunday, it is a tied fantasy matchup. Tied. On Monday night, my opponent had QB Matt Ryan playing (a projected lock for anywhere between 15-25 points) while I had my Hofstra-educated, sure-handed WR Marques Colston (anything above 10 points would be considered great.) I needed a player such as Slaton to give me a points lead going in, so maybe I would have a chance. But my #1 guy, the focal point of my team, got (-1) points. In other words, if my best player STAYED IN THE TEAM HOTEL AND NEVER EVEN WENT TO THE GAME, he would score 0 points, rather than (-1), and I would have a 1 point lead going into Monday.

These are the things you think about when fantasy games are close. "Why did my quarterback try to force that throw and get intercepted?" "How could my running back go down 6 inches short of the endzone?" "Couldn't that receiver get 50 freakin yards instead of 49?"

Such are the everlasting questions of fantasy football. In years 1-9 of the fantasy curve, you just shake your head and hope things go well the next week. But in year 10...these questions dismantle you. From head to toe. They eat away at your soul. Now Steve Slaton wouldn't know who I was if he stepped on me and I said "Excuse me, Steve, you're stepping on me, Conor Reilly." That's the relationship we have, yet he is able to ruin an entire Sunday of football for me.

It shouldn't be this way. Fantasy football should enhance the fan experience, not make it constantly tramatic. But there I was on Sunday and Monday afternoon, sulking about my surely-crippling loss and wondering where my $250 goes when it gets metaphorically flushed down the toilet.

But then Monday night came. And I was the prodigal son that came back to my beloved game. My guy Colston puts up numbers that are above and beyond what's expected, and I keep the game close as the Falcons and Saints battled out their real-life game. Although close, in the end my (Colston's) valiant effort had came up just short. Matt Ryan wasn't good, but he was good enough. As he took the snap for the final play, I was down by one point. One freakin' point. Asking one last time, "Why couldn't you just stay at the team hotel, Steve Slaton?"

But just like in NFL football, the fantasy game ain't over until the clock hits 0:00. With the Falcons needing a Hail Mary pass to win, Ryan chucked the ball 50 yards to the end zone. The smart play for the New Orleans defense would be to knock the ball down. It's the safe play. It's the play most defenses are taught to make. But not Darren Sharper. Not on this Monday night. The Saints' defender leapt up and grabbed a phenomenal interception. What does that do for Matt Ryan's fantasy numbers? A subtle (-2) point penalty for an interception. That subtle (-2) turned my 1 point defeat into a 1 point victory. You couldn't script it. Sulking all day Sunday and Monday, thinking about the trillions of little things I could have done differently to win. And Darren Sharper makes the play less traveled, winning me the game.

Cautiously triumphant. I can't think of a better way to describe fantasy football. On Tuesday, I was saying "Yeah, Steve Slaton really screwed me over, but Darren Sharper bailed me out in the end. I still got a shot." It's almost non-sensical. At least 95% of fans couldn't care less that the play was an interception instead of an incompletion. The Saints had won the game and that's what mattered.

But maybe that's what it's all about. I suppose fantasy football does enhance the fan's experience. Because for one day, for one play, Darren Sharper was my favorite football player in the world. And maybe next week there will be another Darren Sharper that bails me out. Though guys get paid serious money to try to predict and project every stat from every game, the reality is that nobody really knows anything. Even when everything looks figured out, some Darren Sharper-esque player may there to blow it all up.

I've been doing this junk for almost 10 years. Yes, it drives me nuts. But sometimes, sometimes, the proverbial Darren Sharper rides in on his stallion to make it all worthwhile.