Three long years since the Islanders qualified for the playoffs.
Two long years since the blog revved its engines.
One long year since Infinity War.
Call it a coincidence; Call it timing poetry; Call it abject laziness. But for better or for worse, the blog is back in business for the greatest playoffs in all of sports. Sixteen teams are back in the show to run the marathon as long as they can. After round one, half of them will be turned to ash and disappear. (fair warning: the puns will get intolerable quickly.) From there, the teams will continue in best-of-seven series all the way to the StanLee (okay, I'll stop) Cup.
The eight first round matchups are tantalizing. In breaking down the series, we'll stay on theme with an Avengers parallel to each team involved. As always, rely on these picks at your own deep, deep risk.
All set? Crank it up to 11, cause I'm ready to Ragnarok.
EASTERN CONFERENCE:
Tampa Bay Lightning (128 points) vs. Columbus Blue Jackets (98 points)
Stanley Cup Odds: TB 2:1 ; CBJ 40:1
Avengers Parallel: Thanos vs. Captain Marvel
That is not a typo and this is not just over-excitement about the first matchup. There is indeed an undisputed Thanos in this tournament, and of course it's a team in the hockey "hot"bed of Florida. The Stanley Cup odds listed above are utterly unheard of for the NHL playoffs, but the Tamps season has been that ridiculous. Just as Thanos stands alone to take on all comers, the Lightning will be doing the same and are favored against the entire field. Thanos of course needs his Infinity Stones...in this sense they would be goalie Andrei Vasilevskiy, Brayden Point (92 points), Steven Stamkos (98) and walking supernova Nikita Kucherov (128!!!!!!!!) They lapped the field in losing just 16 out of 82 games in regulation. When you lose 16 out of 82, can a team really like their chances beating them 4 out of 7? Oy...
Columbus counters with one of the more fascinating storylines in the playoffs. They've had a season as batty as their head coach John Tortorella. Long story short, their two best players (Artemi Panarin and Sergei Bobrovski) are pending free agents that have been...brutally honest that Columbus isn't their cup of tea. As tough as it is to white-flag a season, certainly they would trade these guys for future valuable assets to avoid an Islanders/Tavares situation right?
Much like Nick Fury calling (paging? beeping?) on our girl to save the day at the last second, Columbus went full maniac at the deadline and traded their assets for more upcoming free agents. It's an all-in approach that is sure to be catastrophic for their foreseeable future.
But in the now? They've clawed their way into the playoffs and are coming plasma-beams-first into...likely a complete slaughter. Even with their new additions Matt Duchene and Alex Dzingel, things haven't come together as planned. But if everything dropped into place for a few-game stretch, the Jackets' frontline talent is drastically atypical for a "last team in" seed.
The Pick: Lightning in 6 games
Boston Bruins (107 points) vs. Toronto Maple Leafs (100 points)
Stanley Cup Odds: BOS 9:1 ; TOR 16:1
Avengers Parallel: Captain America vs. Thor
This battle would be insane and therefore fitting for this first round bloodbath. With Tampa as the runaway first-place alphateam, the NHL playoff structure has plotted these two on a crash course for several months. Boston's Captain America connection goes back to the "Original Six" of the NHL. With traditional stalwarts Detroit, Chicago, and NY Rangers all not qualifying for the playoffs, Boston is the lone American Original Six squad. Much like Cap got frozen in ice for a few generations, it's a sneaky surprise that the Bruins don't have more than their one championship in the past 30 years. Perhaps it's just so out of ratio with their fellow Boston teams. But with their well-rounded attack of Patrice Bergeron, David Pastrnak, David Krejci, and never-going-away Brad Marchand, the Bruins are a nightmare to deal with over a long series.
Admittedly, the Maple Leafs almost got the Winter Soldier label due to the John Tavares bad-guy vibe. But there's far more to the story than that. As an often-bellyaching Jets fan, the idea of the Maple Leafs not having a championship (nor appearance) since 1967 resonates quite deeply. Not that I feel bad. Quite the opposite, actually. But there's a particular scene in Infinity War when Thor recaps to Rocket Raccoon some deep scars he's endured in his long long life and-- WHY-AM-I-TRYING-TO-SUMMARIZE-WHEN-TECHNOLOGYYYYYYYY:
Not to put hockey in the same plane as...well, all that Thor's got going on there. But Toronto wears the failures and losses over the last 50+ years much the same way. With Auston Matthews, Mitch Marner, and you-know-who operating in front of a ridiculous year from goalie Freddy Anderson, Toronto fans are once again sucked right back in. This series is going to be a classic.
The Pick: Maple Leafs in 6 games
Stanley Cup Odds: WAS 9:1 ; CAR 28:1
Avengers Parallel: Ultron vs. Rocket Raccoon
Well as far as flying in under the radar, things couldn't have gone much better for the defending champion Capitals. The Lightning have all the attention, while Washington has ho-hummed their way to another division title and a playoff path far more manageable than Tampa's. It's with that in mind that they are Ultron, the once-most-feared enemy of the Avengers that has since...I, I dunno. Is Ultron dead? Is the book closed? Who knows. But in any case, he's fallen out of the spotlight and would reclaim it in a big way if he were able to return. The Caps have several of the same cast of characters that raised a banner to the rafters in the first game this season. A don't-mind-if-I-do-it-again 51 goal campaign from Alex Ovechkin has paced the squad, and Braden Holtby has the playoff pedigree you want in goal. If there ever was such a thing, this may be a defending-champion-sleeping-giant.
The Carolina Hurricanes? Well, much like Rocket, let's just say they like to have fun. I know a 10-minute embedded video is an insult this day and age, but you'll get the gist for however long you choose to enjoy it:
A professional team. Not picked to do a whole lot of anything this year. Recreating the concept of celebration and fan interaction. The season was already a victory getting to this point. And they'll get one victory celebration in their building. They'll need to make that one count...
The Pick: Capitals in 5 games
New York Islanders (103 points) vs. Pittsburgh Penguins (100 points)
Stanley Cup Odds: NYI 28:1 ; PIT 14:1Avengers Parallel: Ant Man vs. Iron Man
My, my, my. What a long, strange trip it's been. The last 12 months for the Islanders have seen them revitalize the franchise with a new coach and team president; have the wonderful dream come reality with the Belmont arena announcement; have their innards ripped out and splattered in the John Tavares saga; and then take a season that many expected to tank for a draft pick and instead have home ice advantage in the playoffs for the first time in 30 years. It's a plot too ridiculous for even the Marvel universe. And yet, here we are.
The Islanders are Ant Man. They're a hoot. they'll give you a good time. But if you're taking on Ant Man in a fight, let's be honest...nobody is shaking in their boots. Maybe that's just what the Isles want. Ant Man looks like a guy who can be destroyed in 2-3 seconds...only to then have him shrink down and fly up your nose and start internally sabotaging you. And I'm sorry...in Endgame, there is more than meets the eye with this dude. Look at this clip from one of the trailers:
What's goin on?? Widow and Captain America are reacting like the long-awaited savior of the whole universe is at their door! There's more going on than meets the eye. As we left Ant Man, he was caught in something called the quantum realm, where presumably a lot of stuff is going to go down in Endgame. The quantum realm may has well be Nassau Coliseum, as the fans who thought hockey was done in that building are now unimaginably going back for a Game One. Don't take Any Man as a slight. Despite home advantage, the orange and blue are betting underdogs in the series. Just like they're used to. And likely, just like they want to be.
The Penguins come in having won two out of the past three Stanley Cups. Much like Iron Man has the pedigree of so many Marvel Universe movies under his belt, the Penguins roster is littered with playoff savvy and experience. The Penguins are still standing as a contender as some fellow powerhouses over the last decade (Chicago, Los Angeles, Detroit, etc.) all had down seasons. Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Phil Kessel, Jake Guentzel, etc. completely blow away the Islanders in terms of offensive talent. Matt Murray has overcome some early season disasters and has already proven he can win in the playoffs.
These two combatants have already "met" once. Despite some early shots, things didn't go well for Ant Man:
The bettors and public alike this series will be much of the same.
The Pick: Islanders in 7 games
WESTERN CONFERENCE:
(Nick Fury Editor's Note: As always, West previews will be shorter and less insightful that the East. I do not like to pretend I have the familiarity with these teams as much as the East. We have matchups, we'll have fun, with more insight coming in the following rounds as I see the teams play)
Calgary Flames (107 points) vs. Colorado Avalanche (90 points)
Stanley Cup Odds: CAL 10:1 ; COL 40:1
Avengers Parallel: Scarlet Witch vs. Winter Soldier
Much respect to the Flames. The Lightning have deservedly gotten all the attention, Calgary's +62 goal differential blows away anybody besides Tampa across the whole league. The Islanders played them twice in about a week span this season, and they looked like a complete terror to play against. Fast, pressure the puck, and a balanced attack that includes three 30-goal scorers (Gaudreau, Monahan, Tkachuk.). They may not have sizzle, but they have plenty of steak. It's like in Infinity War where the plan was "hey stay up here and stand watch..." and then when the time comes, oh-by-the-way she can do this:
The Avalanche are an understandably hefty underdog. Their 90 points was lowest across all the playoff teams, and they're alarmingly top-heavy with MacKinnon, Rantanen, Landeskog, leading an otherwise bucket of pucks. But hey...Colorado?....Winter Soldier? Total layup. Unfortunately, so will this series.
Stanley Cup Odds: SJ 10:1 ; VGK 12:1
Avengers Parallel: Drax vs. Spider-Man
Drax and the Sharks kind of share that teal color scheme, which is an added boost. But there are other parallels as well. I'm not sure if they every talked about it amongst each other, the San Jose's hockey philosophy seems to be right on par with Drax's fighting philosophy. Ask very little questions, dedicate all energy to offense with little regard to defense, and let the cards fall as they may. The offense can score with anyone, but it was a down year for goalie Martin Jones as well as (Elsa and Anna's favorite) backup Aaron Dell. Even still, with those 10:1 Stanley Cup odds, people believe in the team core's pedigree and ability to get over the hump.
Standing in their way are the darlings of last season. Much like how a young kid Spider-Man flew into Captain America Civil War and injected more life and fun into the franchise, the expansion Golden Knights captured the hockey world's imagination with a Cup final run last year. Much of that same roster returns, though they will not be sneaking up on anybody this year. Much like the Islanders, Vegas (still so fun to write that) has a balanced attack without superstar. Perhaps it's fitting they don't have an alpha dog...after all, they may not even bu sure if they're using their real or made-up names.
The Pick: Golden Knights in 7 games
Nashville Predators (100 points) vs. Dallas Stars (93 points)
Stanley Cup Odds: NAS 12:1 ; DAL 40:1
Avengers Parallel: Star-Lord vs. Hawkeye
Despite hockey being the king of professional sports playoffs, you're going to get a clunker every now and again. Star-Lord vs. Hawkeye (despite Hawkeye having some Ant-Man more-than-meets-the-eye potential based on trailers) is not a battle the masses will particularly care for. And as the odds show, it's one of the lopsided mismatches the first round has to offer. Nashville seemed to have its best chance at the Cup two years ago, bowing out to the Penguins in the final. Many of the same crew returns, anchored by Pekka Rinne. They get the Star-Lord label due to their goofy (yet certainly) passionate home ice advantage. They earned their way to a division title. And, if Rinne decides to wreak havoc, can beat anyone in this tournament.
Dallas, nice to meet ya. If the Stars are going to have a chance in this series, it will begin and end with goalie Ben Bishop. When healthy, his stats have been eye-popping. I'm not sure what's going to happen with Hawkeye in Endgame, but he looks like something drastic has happened to him as a whole. Here's to him having more than a couple arrows to fight with this time around. And here's to maybe Bishop as the key to taking the supremely underdog Stars on a run.
The Pick: Predators in 6 games
Winnipeg Jets (99 points) vs. St. Louis Blues (99 points)
Stanley Cup Odds: WIN 14:1 ; STL 14:1
Avengers Parallel: Hulk vs. Vision
Our final first-round matchup brings some serious cheddar of destruction. Those are not typos written above... these two teams have an identical amount of points and identical (quite strong) Stanley Cup odds. Besides the cross-sport color scheme of the football Jets, Winnipeg and the Hulk have plenty of moxy behind them. Any franchise would love to build their team around young talents such as Laine and Scheifele, and beautifully named Connor Hellebuyck is as good as it gets when he is on. The Jets were heavy favorites coming into the season, but maybe some bloom has come off the rose as they failed to win their division. A hot start before a downfall...sound familiar?
Stanley Cup Odds: NAS 12:1 ; DAL 40:1
Avengers Parallel: Star-Lord vs. Hawkeye
Despite hockey being the king of professional sports playoffs, you're going to get a clunker every now and again. Star-Lord vs. Hawkeye (despite Hawkeye having some Ant-Man more-than-meets-the-eye potential based on trailers) is not a battle the masses will particularly care for. And as the odds show, it's one of the lopsided mismatches the first round has to offer. Nashville seemed to have its best chance at the Cup two years ago, bowing out to the Penguins in the final. Many of the same crew returns, anchored by Pekka Rinne. They get the Star-Lord label due to their goofy (yet certainly) passionate home ice advantage. They earned their way to a division title. And, if Rinne decides to wreak havoc, can beat anyone in this tournament.
Dallas, nice to meet ya. If the Stars are going to have a chance in this series, it will begin and end with goalie Ben Bishop. When healthy, his stats have been eye-popping. I'm not sure what's going to happen with Hawkeye in Endgame, but he looks like something drastic has happened to him as a whole. Here's to him having more than a couple arrows to fight with this time around. And here's to maybe Bishop as the key to taking the supremely underdog Stars on a run.
The Pick: Predators in 6 games
Winnipeg Jets (99 points) vs. St. Louis Blues (99 points)
Stanley Cup Odds: WIN 14:1 ; STL 14:1
Avengers Parallel: Hulk vs. Vision
Our final first-round matchup brings some serious cheddar of destruction. Those are not typos written above... these two teams have an identical amount of points and identical (quite strong) Stanley Cup odds. Besides the cross-sport color scheme of the football Jets, Winnipeg and the Hulk have plenty of moxy behind them. Any franchise would love to build their team around young talents such as Laine and Scheifele, and beautifully named Connor Hellebuyck is as good as it gets when he is on. The Jets were heavy favorites coming into the season, but maybe some bloom has come off the rose as they failed to win their division. A hot start before a downfall...sound familiar?
The Blues lack the enraged firepower of their Winnipeg counterparts, but should not be taken lightly. Vision is a kind enough, well-spoken fellow once you get to know him. But he's also someone you certainly do not want to cross. He has (er,... had) an infinity stone lodged in his head. Consider that to be the "Defensive Integrity" stone, as their commitment to the backside (no Sir Mix a Lot jokes, please) keeps them afloat in each game they play. Make no mistake about it, the winner of this series is sure to make a serious dent in the playoffs as a whole.
The Pick: Jets in 6 games
Enjoy the first round!
Conor will return in Playoffs, Part II...
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