Monday Mash- Week 5

It was quite a jacked sports Sunday we had yesterday. NFL, MLB playoffs, sprinkle in a little hockey. It's a great time to be a fan right now.

Unless you're in New England.

Because the mighty fell hard yesterday. The Red Sox had one of the more stunning playoff roll-over-and-die performances in recent history, and the Patriots were beaten in Denver by a broncos team that is somehow now 5-0. The Red Sox simply ran into a buzzsaw of great Angel pitching by Lackey and Weaver, and weren't able to escape the 0-2 hole. Though they seemed to be in trouble the whole series, it was truly stunning to see Papelbon blow that lead yesterday in front of the home crowd. The Angels showed a killer finishing ability that will definitely give them a fighting chance in the ALCS against...

The Yankees. Yep, the Twins were swept and my epic 5-game prediction never materialized. Nevertheless I think we have a treat of a series coming up. You either like the juggernaut talent machine of New York, or the never-say-die, mojo-driven, fundamentally sound Angels. (Did that sound adequately biased against the Yanks? I hope so.) As per my playoff preview, it's the Halos in 6. Wrapping up baseball, the Cardinals' paltry effort rivaled that of the Red Sox. So much for that NL pennant predictions. It'll be the Dodgers going up against whoever comes out of Phillies/Rockies. I have to think the Dodgers have the edge against either.

Ok, enough of that baseball stuff. The Monday Mash was founded on the principles of cheerleaders, wings, manlyness, and football. Mentioned earlier was the Broncos' impressive win over the Patriots, which was a great boost for the picks yesterday. The Broncos and Bengals both won outright, as did the upset perfiction Browns. Though those were good, the Panthers failed to cover the 5 point spread against the Redskins, and for some demonic reason i picked the Raiders to cover the huge spread against the Giants, only to see New York cover during the second quarter. A modest 3-2 on the week. Baby steps. Here's the other junk from week 5.

The Montauk BeverageWorks Delicious Performance of the Week:
Miles Austin, Cowboys. Ten catches for 250 and 2 scores? On behalf of Tony Romo's frustrated fantasy owners across the country: GIVE ME A HELL YEAH! This included a 60-yard score in overtime against Kansas City (yes, the Cowboys actually needed OT against the Chiefs, but that's not Austin's fault.) Roy Williams was out with an injury for this game, and it clearly wasn't much of a loss for Dallas.

• Denver-New England was a dandy, but there were also doozies in Arizona and Baltimore. The Cardinals almost blew an enormous lead against the Texans, only to make a miraculous goal-line stand at the end to save the victory. Maybe if you gave the ball to Steve Slaton instead of Chris Brown, you would have won, Houston. My fantasy team sure would have. The Bengals scored the road upset against the Ravens on the back of...Cedric Benson? Maybe Baltimore really does miss Rex.
• No worries for the hobbled NFC east quarterbacks. Donovan McNabb proved the ribs are fine against the hapless Bucs, while Eli Manning blew away the just-as-hapless Raiders.
  
• The Rams looked grotesque again, losing 38-10 against the Vikings. They, were, however, out-grossed by the 41-0 loss by Jacksonville. Matt Hasselbeck's 4 touchdowns made him the Beverageworks runner-up. Most surprising blowout? Atlanta's 45-10 bashing on the road against the 49ers.
  
• Tennessee might just be as bad as their record. Going into last night's game they were though to be the best 0-4 team in history. After that game they just seem like a plain ol' 0-5 sewer rat.
• Daunte Culpepper lives! The Lions came off their first win since the Reagan administration with a respectable 28-20 loss to the Steelers. They are going places.
• Quite a Monday night tussle tonight, Jets-Dolphins in Miami. Mark Sanchez is coming off his toilet-worthy performance last week, while the Dolphins are 1-3 and without Iron Chad. A lot of people are picking Miami, making me uneasy. Braylon Edwards makes his debut with the Jets, which can go either way. Jets are favored by 4. We'll take it. Chad Henne has 3 turnovers total and the Jets pull away in the end, 24-10. I think.